Love notes.

Without looking at Pinterest, (because let's be honest all he looks at on that site is truck stuff), Kasey totally made my whole day. Look how cute he is:

My love language is obviously "words of affirmation." And girls, whoever might tell you it's a sign of weakness, it's just our womanly nature. Don't feel stupid if you love those three little words. Because it's cool. Anyway, I really love my hubby. Sometimes I have this weird mind game where I think it's too good to be true, and sometimes, I even wake up and think it was all a dream. 

I hope I do the same thing for him. I hope I'm a good enough wife and future mommy that Kasey thinks he's in a dream for the rest of forever. I guess this is what our Heavenly Father meant when He tells us that our dreams can become a reality! 

Ok, long rant for just this, but I'm just so happy I scored on the whole "marriage" thing.

List of Thankfulness.

As with tradition, and I know it's very cliche, but I love that people make lists of what they're thankful for during the beginning of the Holiday season. It just makes it that much better for the rest of the last of the year. 

Here goes...and yes in particular order this time:

1. A Heavenly Father that loves me. Everyone's got this one. But the trick here is that most people don't know it. I wish most people realized this, because my broadcast journalism major probably wouldn't be in existence if people did.

2. A family that loves me. Now this one is a little different...not everyone has this. I continue to realize this every day. I am so happy that my whole family is healthy (well, somewhat) and happy (yes, very much so) and we all still get along. Dad didn't think that was going to happen about 15 years ago...proved him wrong!

3. Friends who love me. Well, namely in particular one friend that's a boy that some people call "boyfriends," but I don't even think that name does him justice. Kasey is the perfect mix of a hunk, a protector, a best friend, a solid rock that's never going anywhere...you get the idea. Everything but a girlfriend, that's for sure...

4. A mission. I get caught up in saying, "my mission," but it was never mine. It was His--the One who really taught me how to love. My heart always is in New York and it takes only about half a second for someone to say something that triggers a memory, therefore making me more grateful for the hardest thing I've ever done.


If you didn't realize this--all of these have to do with love. I seriously need to live off love. Well, I better end this post because I need to go braid some bacon.

A Father Forever (Who Still Speaks!)

I keep having these realizations that God is my Father. 

Obviously, that is such a basic doctrine that it should be ingrained in any returned missionary's soul. Well, it is! The reason I keep realizing it is because every day I see something else that He gives me that I didn't notice before. 

If you have read Preach My Gospel, that is the very first thing we as missionaries tell our investigators. Why don't we spill great doctrines like eternal life right as they answer the door? Because without understanding that you have a Father in Heaven who cries when you cry and smiles when you walk out of an aced test, you understand absolutely nothing.

If that's the only thing you understand when you leave this earth, He'll sweep you into His arms and take you straight to His Home.

Anyway, getting back to my realizations...


The scriptures.


I always wondered on my mission why I have never before asked my Father if they were true. I thought I was horrible--but then again I was under the impression that I couldn't feel the Spirit, either. I figured out through prayer that it was because these people always lived like they were true.

Pictures by Rita Merrick

There hasn't been a question in my mind until Sister Hawkes told people to ask for themselves. I thought, "People actually have to ask if The Book of Mormon is true?" 

So, I thought I should ask. And, I try to make it on a regular basis. So every time I do, the answer is always the same. IT'S TRUE! 

I so bad want to raise my children to know the scriptures are true just from how I live. I want them to catch me on my knees asking. I want them to catch me reading with my husband whenever we have ten minutes. The words of Christ through the prophets really can change a human heart, and I need them to understand that so they can understand the bigger picture: that God is their Father.

That's how I was raised, and I'm (secretly) glad I never even thought to question it.

Pictures by Rita Merrick

Pictures by Rita Merrick

Pictures by Rita Merrick

Pictures by Rita Merrick

Pictures by Rita Merrick

Pictures by Rita Merrick

Measure your life in love.

"It's time now, to sing out, though the story never ends." -Seasons of Love, Rent

via: Pinterest.com

Just like every other girl on the planet understands very well, love is the most important thing on the planet. A love for God, a love for your family, and let's not forget a love to call your own. (I'll give a shoutout to the guys too--I know quite a few men who want and need it just as much.) But us girls...it seems like we want it just a bit more.

The best thing about real, true love, is it doesn't stop--for anything, under any circumstance. That's a quick and easy way to determine whether it's at the point of being the "real deal" or not. That goes for all types of love, but especially that unconditional kind where you have absolutely no logical explanation as to why you still actually care and pray (a lot) about this person and hope all of his/her dreams and desires come true. You're always wondering, why them?! I know the feeling. Join the club.

That, my friends, is called charity. The "pure love of Christ." Sometimes not romantic love. Please do not get that overly confused. Charity is possible for multiple people--it actually was designed for the masses, because we are under covenant and commandment to do so to all of God's children. Don't feel overwhelmed with that statement; it comes one person at a time. But if you've ever felt this, you're getting a glimpse of how our Heavenly Father feels about you. Only just a glimpse, because we all know how impossible that kind of love is to comprehend in this mortal state. It's the most powerful force in the world...because what do they say? Love makes you do crazy things. Most of the time, this feeling just doesn't make sense. But that's the best part!

Bottom line: How do you measure your life?

Temporary vs. Lasting

Yes, I actually do get something out of going to class. Today in Political Science, we were discussing Gorgias by Plato...while I was examining my NCAA bracket. I had one ear in the conversation however, and my professor asked the class if one painful experience would cause the rest of your life to be miserable. That really caught my attention and I continued to really think about it the rest of the period. 


There is no reason that one event should set your whole life back. There is a difference between one miserable experience and and being genuinely happy. Everybody has miserable experiences. The happy man is the one who continues on to be in that happy state, regardless of what just happened to him. Sure, we were sent here to this Earth for a test, so it's going to be a rough road. But, we were also sent here so we could know joy and happiness. We can't experience pleasure without pain, and joy without sadness. Do you realize that heartache comes so we can eventually experience bliss? It's not a punishment. In the long scheme of things, He's doing you a favor. 


I thought it was really interesting that I could hear all that in a college class. I absolutely love the fact that at BYU the professors can relate anything to the gospel, and make it applicable to our spiritual lives.


Back to the subject...one occurence shouldn't set you back from the years you've spent trying to make yourself happy. That's the difference between a man living on Earth, and a man experiencing Earth. Experience comes by trial and error and those trials will only last as long as you want them to. Once you know what they are there, you can take a good look at the cards that life has dealt you and play them how you will. You can choose...happiness or not. 


It's that easy. However--easier said than done. Believe me, I know. But being genuinely happy? It's so worth it.

I'm thankful for...

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." -Thornton Wilder 

Having my family here on Thanksgiving day gives me physical evidence of the best thing I've ever been given. I've been more than blessed lately, which easily makes 2011 the best year of my life so far. These are just some other of the many things that I thank God I have on Thanksgiving day.

• My faith in the Savior.
• My new job.
• A warm bed.
• My gym pass.
• My car.
• Beautiful parents.
• The ability to think.
• My best friends.
• My skis.
• My major.
• Being the oldest.
• My health.
• And last but definitely not least, love.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. Congrats to the Packers for beating the Lions, and good luck to the 49ers tonight. (I should support my man Dennis Pitta, but I'm a 49ers fan.) May you all pass all of your finals, and spend too much money tomorrow while I'm Christmas-izing my house. It's now officially the Christmas holiday, which officially makes me one happy girl.

One big project.

I started a bigger project than I thought. A much bigger one.

A few weeks ago I decided I should probably start digitizing all of my journals. That way it would make it easier to find stories, people, experiences...but most of all, to make sure I never lose any of my past seven years. Even just writing in my journal daily is a huge project in itself. So, last night I only did a couple hours worth, and only got through a month and a half. Great, I've got, let's see, seven years to go. Looks like I found myself a project over Christmas break!

Now, I don't consider mine a "diary." Some girls try to write Nicolas Spark's novels about their love lives, including how great/bad their best friends are...but all I have is simply what happened to me and what I felt through the process. It's not terribly interesting. It doesn't need to be.

I've noticed though, that my journal entries have gotten significantly longer and in more detail throughout the years. When I go back to read them, it's almost like I'm understanding why things happened because I know the outcome, or vice versa. It is so interesting, and quite hilarious to be honest. It's one of my favorite things to do! I can remember so much more about high school and the beginning of college because I wrote it all down and I re-read it. I can see how much I've changed, and how much other people have changed. Let me repeat, it's so interesting.

via: pinterest

"You have to know the past to understand the present."
-Dr. Carl Sagan

What I'll be doing with my children (thank Pinterest for the idea) is I'll keep a journal for each of them throughout their growing up years and give it to them either when they move out or get married. The entries won't be as long as mine are, but I know that my best treasures are hand-written letters from my parents. How great would it be to have an entire journal full of things your parents thought about you since day one? I'm excited. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it a secret.

Here's the plug: If you haven't started keeping a journal, start tonight. It's one of the best things that I've ever done.

Life is wonderful.

Cue the Jason Mraz song.


Out of the many disappointments, there are even more miracles that happen every day. Here's what I've been in love with lately:

• The fact that I live across the street from the temple. And I got to go this morning!
• It snowed last week. Timp is covered with snow, but even better--Deer Valley is too!
• I only have two more full weeks left of Fall semester. And no homework over Thanksgiving or Christmas.
• Looking through newfamilysearch.org, and finding out some pretty cool things. I love being a Wells/Hawkes!
• I get to try as many Pinterest recipies as I want over the break(s). Thanks to my wonderful mother who told me she would buy ingredients to sponsor my newly-found domesticity. 
• I get to sleep in a warm bed. And a queen size, at that!
• My professor emailing me this morning, telling me she thinks I'm responsible, and wants me to run class on Monday and Wednesday. Sheesh, I've got her fooled! 
• I actually got all of my laundry done in the past 24 hours. It just needs folded.
• BYU.edu made my life easier by having all of the classes I need next semester. And at much needed times!
• My best friends still love me regardless of what I complain to them about. You know who you are.
• I have 100% in one of my classes. No, not my weightlifting or cooking class! Make that THREE 100%-ers!
• Speaking of weightlifting, I'm getting really strong. Amazing what 20 minutes/three times a week will do.
• I'm doing a good job of keeping my car clean. Now my dad just needs to read this so he will believe me.

Let's talk about my friend, Jessica. Now she is one girl that loves her life.  I hope and pray that I find my children doing this daily...mostly just so I can get thousands of dollars from YouTube. And of course for the satisfaction that my kids are happy. What a way to wake up every morning. You go girl.

"It takes no time to fall in love,

but it takes you years to know what love is."

-Jason Mraz, Life is Wonderful

Brandon, The Target cashier.

The key to enjoying life: noticing the details. The little things are what make a friendship, a relationship, or a love. They are what you remember of people and of memories. The details are the beautiful in life.


While I was in the check out line at Target (buying that new mustard yellow v-neck...great purchase) I came across one of the most optimistic people I've ever met--Brandon. He simply asked how my day was going, and I just told him it has been great so far. I asked him the same question, and he said, "I'm having the best day of my life!" 


I then noticed it wasn't his fault that he couldn't look me in the eye, and had a hard time speaking and concentrating. It was apparent he had some sort of mental disability. I went on to ask him why it was such a great day for him, and he told me it was because he had a goal. I asked him what the goal it was and he just stopped, grew the biggest smile on his face and said, "I'm going to the Celestial Kingdom!"


It's interesting how one small conversation can put a different perspective on my life. Brandon is completely right, he's straight on his way to the Celestial Kingdom. I couldn't help but smile walking out of the store, and on my way home I thought about where Brandon's thoughts are probably all day. If his goal to the Kingdom is the first thing that comes to mind, he's a man of God. I think those are one kind of angels He puts down in our lives just to remind us of the love He has for each one of us. The little things that they say or do make up the bigger picture, and Brandon's bigger picture...is never ending.

Beauty product must haves...part 2.

This blog thing is so fun! I get to write what I want, when I want...it's a fantastic outlet for a journalism major. And a much better "productive procrastination" alternative than Facebook. 


I had such a great response to the first post, and thought about many more things that I had forgotten about before I published the last one. Here's a part 2 to what I have found most helpful, but this is combined with more tips than anything. I get most of my tips from my mother (okay, what am I saying...I get everything from her) which I consider her to be the highest source of beauty tips in my book. But look how cool she is! This is her flying in a Blackhawk over Afghanistan with the troops. And she still manages to look beautiful. I don't mind showing her off one bit.

• First, the foundation that I have found works the best is CoverGirl Advanced Radiance. It has an SPF of 10 and goes on super light. It also has a little pump that doesn't make a mess, and it really lasts 4-5 months. This is what I mix with the baby lotion. My mom also swears by this as well.

• For those of us that haven't been blessed with olive skin or any hope of getting a tan in the summer: Jergens Natural Glow. It cost about $7-$8 a bottle, which lasts for a few months. It isn't a tanning lotion or a tanning mousse thing, it actually won't make you tan. It will make you a few shades darker if used religiously, but the only thing that it really will do is give you color to bring out the tone in your skin, so it doesn't appear as blinding. I highly recommend this.

• Yes, my hair is from a box. I get asked if it is my natural color all the time, and people are always surprised when I tell them I'm a natural blonde. And I don't even go to the salon for my brunette-hood! And when it says ten minutes...it literally...takes ten minutes. Get someone to help you, though. Make sure to wash your hair in cold/cool water (cold for the first week, cool for the rest of the time, about 6 weeks before roots grow in) and the color will actually stay in your hair and keep bright. Here's what I use. I also get the brass-free to avoid the red. But this also is from going from blonde to brown. I've heard that going brown to blonde...you need a salon to avoid all damage. Sorry. If you're a blonde and have always been thinking about it...do it! It's semi-permanent and it comes out in a few hot showers.

• I switch off using a different type of face wash. I have 3 different cleansers that I trade daily. It makes your skin not "used to" one kind, so it kills bacteria a lot faster. I switch off between that Clear Pore I mentioned before, Deep Clean Cream Cleanser, and the Deep Clean invigorating scrub. I'm a huge Neutrogena fan. 

• The same thing goes for using different shampoos/conditioners...only I buy one at a time though. I buy a different brand every time I run out to get different vitamins from each one. Right now I'm using Tresemme Color shampoo and conditioner, but I switch to Pantene Pro-V and Herbal Essences. Those won't kill your hair if you keep switching up your shampoo and conditioner.

• There always seems to be a question of what eyebrows should look like. On number one, they really are supposed to be that far out. If you don't have eyebrows that grow past that like I do, I just take a pencil lighter than my actual brow color and draw the tiniest little line. Seriously, so tiny. On number one, your eyebrow is supposed to begin right in line with your eye. The tiniest differences makes a huge difference in the overall look. Again, what I'm going for is most natural, but most groomed.

• When blow-drying, start from your roots and do those first. Make sure they are all dry, then move on to the rest of your hair. That prevents the hair from drying on your scalp and having a flat hair day. Story of my life in Jr. High. But this dryer is one of the best...I really like any ones that come with the attachable pieces though.

• This was the most simple picture I could find. What I do is just put that pussycat Bare Essentials in the crease of my eyelid for a simple look. Then if I have time put a lighter color on the actual lid and below the eyebrow. Just brings a shimmer to it without making it look like you have a ton of makeup on. I also just barely have switched over to the brown eyeliner. It blends in a lot better than the chocolate brown or black I used. Unless it's a black tie event, then go with the smokey eye look. But for everyday, this is definitely what I do.

• I have experimented with a lot of eyeshadow colors, but I've always gone back to the browns and purples--I have green eyes. For green/blue eyes, use more neutrals, but purple makes colored eyes totally stand out. Not a heavy purple, but very subtle. For brown eyes, you can wear tons of colors and not look overdone. You can wear pinks, blues, greens, and yes purple--that looks good on everyone I think. If you're hazel...you're lucky. Anything will work for you. But everything in moderation. Yes, she's wearing purple! 

I feel like I'm giving away secretive information here. But I always love when people tell me what they do and use so I can try it out...more often than not I've always switched just to change the routine up a bit. And it was really fun for me to put together. Again, if you're a guy and you read this, that's weird. For us girls, we can't hop in the shower ten minutes before we need to leave. It is a challenge to find what works for our individual face, but more importantly what we are comfortable with. But do put makeup on, even if it is just a bit of eyeshadow and mascara. Wear perfume. Do your hair. If you read my Ode to Men post, I am a firm believer in making ourselves as beautiful and presentable as possible. 

Beauty product must haves.

I saw another blog post on this and thought it was a genius idea. I'm always curious as to what tricks everyone has for the dreaded daily routine...basically to make things go faster so I can push snooze one more time. Here's what I've always gone back to, and what's always worked. (If any boys are reading this...this probably won't be of any interest to you. Sorry.)

• Skin-colored lip gloss. It's not a "WHOA she's wearing lip gloss," but it's just subtle enough to make a difference. It can easily be applied on the way to school/work. That's why it's always in my car...I would never remember if it was in my makeup bag. More specifically...this is my favorite:

• Going along with the nude color...skin colored nail polish. My favorite is the OPI version, it's called Dulce de Leche. Again, not too much, but I feel much more put together.

• You need to have this if you're a girl (and if you're a guy and still reading this, that's weird.): Eyeshadow from Bare Essentials. More specific colors: Pussycat. Nude beach. (I obviously like that color.) Soul Sister, and Grace. They cost $12 each, but they last forever. Not lying. I have a few containers that I bought my first semester of freshman year, and there is still plenty left. But if you were to just buy one: Pussycat.

• My favorite trick: mixing liquid foundation with baby lotion. One, saves you half of your foundation. Two, it makes it so you're not caked with foundation. Three, instant moisturizer! Four, it smells awesome. I do about a 2/3 foundation : 1/3 lotion ratio. 

• 2" Hot Tools curling iron. It curls...without curling. It's a soft curl at the ends, that's a much better alternative to stick straight hair that's already dead in your first class of the day. It even takes a lot less time than actually straightening.

• Vaseline. If you smother it on your hands overnight, you wake up with silk hands. I'm serious. Try it.

• Drink water. I think that should be put at number one. Try at least 3 liters a day...yeah that's a lot, but your skin will be glowing and you'll notice a huge difference in your metabolism if kept up. 

• Perfume. Wear it. Choose your favorite one, and stick to it. I only have recently stuck to just one, and I'm devoted to it. It took awhile to choose with lots of help from Kaitlin and Stephie, but I'm glad I found my one and only. So don't go buy this.

• This clears my skin no matter what. Neutrogena Clear Pore. Granted everyone's skin is different, but I use it twice a week and it does wonders. Just a mask for ten minutes...I definitely can't laugh when it's on because it dries so fast, but it feels awesome when it's finally off. 

• Last but not least: cotton headbands. Throw one on before the gym. Or right when you wake up and don't have time to do your hair. Hair is pulled out of your face in an instant, with no bobby pins, flyaways, or annoying plastic headbands that hurt the back of your ears. Fantastic purchase...and they're really cheap. My favorite is the gray one, and it's always on my nightstand. 

This was quite fun for me to put together. I hope no boys actually got through this whole thing. If you did, hopefully you found something helpful...? Or you just know a lot more about my personal grooming.