Peaceful.

If you know me, I love three things: my husband, my religion, and writing. So, since I've written plenty about my husband, you know where this is going. Now, I do have a lot of friends that don't know too much about my religion (or you do--because I've talked your ear off about it.) So why would a 24-year-old girl care so much about going to church on Sunday? 

So...the whole religion thing. Why would anyone want to believe in something, when you have to do more things when you belong to a church? There's got to be a reason to all of this crazy madness. 

Well, let me ask you a question. What do you think gives you peace? Now, really think about it. 

When was the last time you were peaceful? 

You're probably at work or watching TV reading this, but I want you to imagine you sitting right here on this bench, and asking yourself that question. Give yourself a minute.

My guess is that it has something to do with your family, your kids, or knowing that you are loved. Right?

Right. This is why I do all of this stuff for church. This is why I talk about it so much. I know my Father up in Heaven loves me. We are his literal DNA. We have some piece of Him that is in us, and it's up to us to figure out what that is. Once we do, we will work tirelessly for Him. Obviously, I still get tired--so I have a long way to go! But He loves you and I more than we can imagine. 

How far would you go to get peace? You guys--I'm talking constant peace. Not just when you go to church, or you're with your family. I have peace all the time. Even when things feel like they should be going wrong. This is why I'm so crazy about this.

It's not a secret anymore. The same church that Jesus Christ set-up when He was here on the earth, is now back on the earth. The SAME one, you guys! If you know Christ even a little bit, you know He is organized. If He is so organized, why would he have 55,538,021 (okay, made up number) churches that go back to Him? Yep, you're right, that doesn't make sense. It took one boy, Joseph Smith, to ask a simple question that's been in the Bible all along.

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not...and it shall be given him." -James 1:5

Joseph asked God a question in the same place as the above picture: The Sacred Grove. What he saw after he prayed was miraculous. He had begun the journey, and had started the ties from the past prophets, Peter, James, John, Moses, Adam...to now. Why do you think the Lord wanted it to be called, "The Church of Jesus Christ...of LATTER-DAY Saints?" 

Alright, I realize I'm starting to get on a soapbox, here. But do you get my point? Life is really good. And it's all because of Him. 24/7...it's good.

This post has been inspired by re-reading my old mission e-mails. I put them all on a blog so my family back home could read it, and mostly so I could put it all in one place. If you feel so inclined to read any of it, visit: www.sistermonicahawkes.wordpress.com.

Settled down.

I used to have a thousand blog topics running through my head. That was, until I got married. I know, you hear it from everyone, "Once you get married your life will change. You'll never have the same life again." And you know what, that's exactly right!

Those six years I had of being single and free were amazing! I got to travel across the country, answer to no one, make my own schedule, and life was so fast-paced. I remember performing every other weekend and going home on the other weekends if I didn't have any food left.

Now I have certain amount of vacation days, and a hungry husband at dinnertime. You're probably thinking the negative way. And I'm sure some people take it in a negative way for their own lives! But me--not a chance. Getting married was the best thing I've ever done. 

I love having someone to take care of me--and only me. (While that lasts!)

I love not going to bed alone. 

I love going on crazy adventures because we aren't in the dating stage anymore. 

I love having someone that counts on me for their everyday life. 

I love decorating our own place.

I love staying up late and laughing about weird things.

I love having someone to talk to when things don't go as planned.

I love dreaming about what our future will be like.

Now, even though I loved my life before I met my husband, I couldn't imagine life without him. He's been gone on a business trip these last couple of days, and man--his personality brings so much joy into my life! I'm that wife that counts down the hours to when I can see him again. Only 24 more to go. So many people tell their friends their husband is their "best friend," but when I say he's my best friend--for real, HE IS MY BEST FRIEND.

I've finally settled down with my best friend.

Love notes.

Without looking at Pinterest, (because let's be honest all he looks at on that site is truck stuff), Kasey totally made my whole day. Look how cute he is:

My love language is obviously "words of affirmation." And girls, whoever might tell you it's a sign of weakness, it's just our womanly nature. Don't feel stupid if you love those three little words. Because it's cool. Anyway, I really love my hubby. Sometimes I have this weird mind game where I think it's too good to be true, and sometimes, I even wake up and think it was all a dream. 

I hope I do the same thing for him. I hope I'm a good enough wife and future mommy that Kasey thinks he's in a dream for the rest of forever. I guess this is what our Heavenly Father meant when He tells us that our dreams can become a reality! 

Ok, long rant for just this, but I'm just so happy I scored on the whole "marriage" thing.

The biggest lesson.

I have learned one very big, important lesson since being married.

That getting married isn't your solve-all end for every problem in your life.

Okay, so that may be dramatic. I'll be the first to admit my life really isn't that hard. I know that's not normal. You don't have to be the millionth to tell me. But I will tell you, that I do go through hard things. 

I do have problems that just make me want the Second Coming to happen right now. And I'm sure that's not normal either...joke! Seriously, everyone is apt to tons of nasty stuff. So of course, just like I thought when I was thirteen, I thought for sure that all of my problems would go away when I got married. Obviously because someone loved me enough to live with me, and start a family with me, that nothing else mattered. Well, there is some truth to that. However...

I had a really hard time the month after I got married. (Which was like, last month.) I thought for sure it was the birth control that was making me extra emotional, and feeling like I was failing as a wife already! I called my doctor, and told her I needed to get on a lower dose of estrogen because I was being weird. Well, she told me I was on the lowest dose they had. DANG IT. 

So, I had to figure out something else. I prayed and prayed some more. A question soon came to my mind, "When was the last time I wrote in my journal?" From that little thing--let me tell you, that thought changed everything. It lead me to think about the stuff I had completely left behind in my single life to move to my married life. And you know what all that stuff was?

Everything. I had completely let go of all of my hobbies, and anything that made me happy. (Of course, Kasey makes me happy! But you all know what I mean.) I hadn't even touched a piano or sang a note in two months. I hadn't even written a thing in my journal since our wedding day, and still had my missionary scriptures packed in a box somewhere. iPhone scriptures are just not the same.

Once I realized this was the issue, I got myself an hour on a friend's piano, sat down before work to write in my journal, and put my missionary scriptures on my nightstand to study from. Who woulda thought that would have made all the difference? Just those little changes have made me feel like myself again. I'm able to be a better wife because I take a few minutes to myself everyday. This blog, included. I love writing and taking time to be grateful for the things that the Lord has so graciously given me and my family. 

Before any of you think that marriage will solve all of your problems, it won't.

Becoming your best self will.

I LOVE pictures, okay?

There is just no way I could post enough. My friend Ashley did such a great job taking all of these pictures! The only problem I have now, is trying to decide which ones to hang in our house. If any of you would like to vote on which ones those would be, now would be the time to speak up.

For your (my) viewing pleasure: