The best year.

One year ago today I was sitting at the Salt Lake International airport refreshing this screen every ten seconds:

I felt all of the emotions at once. Scared, excited, nervous, crazy, confused...all of them. Some random guy that I met three weeks prior was coming to my house for a week to (pretty much) meet me and my whole family. It took me forever to try and pick out what to wear and how to do my hair; the whole week before he told me he had booked a flight! (I guess telling him I wanted to kiss his face without really saying those words got him here a bit quicker.)

Well, after he landed, it took all of about five seconds for me to realize it was a good idea that he came. But for him, he was as calm as a cucumber the entire time. I took that the wrong way the first day, but after getting a post-goodnight text saying, "So, did I pass the parents test?" I thought he might actually like me. Imagine that, flying across the country for a girl he doesn't know? Yeah, definitely not his normal personality. Looking back, this was a huge deal.

We decided to be tourists in Salt Lake for our first date the next morning, after my dad took him for a man-to-man horseride. (Poor guy.) I had a feeling we should just take a picture in front of the temple...

And now, one year later, I'm sitting here staring at my left ring finger, and looking at a picture that he sent me of our beautiful backyard sunset in our new house, wondering where the last year went. Time is going by way too fast. And I'm staring at this picture on my background. 

He's going to kill me for this! But it's just so cute.

The luckiest.

Man, he makes me weak in the knees. Honestly guys, that's a real thing...didn't even know that until I started dating my man! My legs give out mostly when he talks about what he's going to do with our kids, and then when he talks to other guys about cars. I know, the second one is kinda weird--maybe not--but he just knows everything about them. Mmm.

Speaking of engines, I have to brag. I just heard this last week. When he was just a kid, he got an old riding lawn mower that didn't work, researched every detail, took it apart, put it back together and got it working all by himself! He keeps telling me he's some normal guy, but I don't buy it.

I'm just so proud of how hard working and super dang smart he is. I always tell him I feel like I'm 10 years younger than him just because somehow he always knows what to do and is way more mature than I am. What a catch.

It's so funny how it took him a few tries to get into that little car!

My own little (big) mechanic/financial extraordinaire/real man.

95 days!!!!!!

So little time.

As of yesterday, we only have four months left! That seems like an eternity in engagement months. 

In between classes, rehearsal and shows, we spent lot of time together this time around. What's interesting is when we are together, I don't feel like we live so far away! It's like he never left. Although, if he did live here, I might be less of a monkey on him. 

Eh, maybe not. He's really handsome.

We had a packed week (partially my fault) because of all the planning we had to do. He is so sweet and most of the time, says I can just do what I want...about the house decorating. But when it comes to the insurance, bank stuff, and of course the garage, he's already gotten that taken care of. There's a lot of things you have to think about, 

it's not just wedding planning that takes forever! That's the easy part.

118 days until we'll be in here together!

Which is crazy to think about our first date 10 months ago...

We also went up to my cabin again, and shockingly there was two

feet of snow! Snowshoeing was pretty fun to get to the front door. No way my Buick would make that.

And of course had fun on the way there...

"Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what's happening. It's inevitable. An event you can't control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course.” -Jackie Collins

And then...he leaves me love notes to find after his flight leaves. He loves to make me cry.

The Proposal.

18,046 miles traveled. 

Two road trips across six states and 16 boarding passes later, 

I somehow snagged myself a fiancé!

I’ve never been engaged before (thankfully) so I didn’t really know how this all worked. Every girl imagines it in her head, but somehow you still just have no idea what to think or where to start. I’ve had my phone blow up with people asking for details, so I decided just to write it up and put it on here! Plus I forgot my journal (LAME) so this counts for that.

The story starts Christmas day. We had such a wonderful morning, with me and Jordan going to wake up Kasey like little kids on, well...Christmas morning...and then we all surrounded the tree to open presents and be together in our PJs. 

Christmas morning at the Hess Home

Well, the usual Christmas happened, and it was so peaceful. But the story you really want to hear starts Christmas night. Kasey’s brother and sister-in-law had just left and I went into the kitchen to get something to eat. He followed me into the kitchen, wrapped himself up in me, and started heckling the heck out of me about my feelings of possibly being an engaged woman. Since heckling is his best talent, I really didn’t think anything of it…for the first half hour at least. He said stuff like, “Mon, I bet you really wish I would propose to you on Christmas. I’m sorry, there’s only an hour and a half left, so just don’t think anything okay? You wouldn’t want to marry me anyway.” Of course there was (play) slapping and hitting and me trying to drop the subject…but he kept saying, “MONICA what do you want for Christmas?” I kept on saying, “Kasey how many times do I have to say this. You are all I want!” And since I already was dating him, I was content and everything was great. I knew it wasn’t going to happen because it was just way too obvious.

The half hour went by and by this time I was thinking that he wouldn’t be doing this for just anything. After laughing and heckling, it did cross my mind a time or two that tonight might be the night, but then he grabbed my shoulders and said, “In all seriousness, I’m just tight on money. Can’t do it right now. I’m sorry, babe.” I smiled, kissed him, said that was okay, and went back to eating whatever I was eating, fully knowing that in order for him to succeed I had to be at least a little bit ticked. So, of course he wasn’t happy with my content answer, so of course…more heckling. “Mon, don’t you want to go for a walk? I don’t have anything, but don’t you just want to go? Just me and you?” I said, no, it’s okay…but he kept asking and so I just let him succeed. He mostly loved that he had to make me ask if we were going anywhere. He pulled out this white box, shook it, and said, “let’s go for a walk.” Of course I went.

We started on this walk around the neighborhood with this white box obviously in the front pocket of his sweatshirt. Kasey did not let me even anywhere near it, so I just decided to let it go and just enjoy the walk. About every five steps he kissed me, and kept squeezing my hand. Not that normal, but okay! (The only reason I didn’t catch on to this obvious hint is because this guy is smarter than smart, and he knows exactly what I would read into and what I wouldn’t. I honestly didn’t think anything was going to happen…I thought he was just going to trick me by going for a walk with this box in his pocket and not mention it once the whole time.) We kept walking around and as we got to a little open spot with just one street lamp he stopped and grabbed both hands. He looked at me and told me seriously that he knew what I was thinking, and he felt bad it just wasn’t going to be at this time. Money really was tight (he just bought new “socks and shoes” for his truck) and he probably would propose over my birthday when he could afford a ring that I wanted. Kasey did tell me he wanted to get me something, that it wasn’t much and not very big, but it was an expression of his love. He slowly pulled out the white box from his front pocket, put it in my hands, and asked me to open it. Remember, there was just one street lamp and so I couldn’t really see anything anyway. I opened it while looking at him skeptically and out of the corner my eye saw something really shiny. I opened it quicker and inside revealed…

A Hershey kiss.

Monica: “KASEY I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

Kasey: “WHAT, IT’S A KISS! Don’t you love me?! You can have a real one if you want!!”

I was laughing so hard. He played dumb, asked why I was laughing and said, “What, you weren’t expecting anything else were you?” He looked so confused that I was laughing and was “offended” that I didn’t want that piece of chocolate. We walked a few more steps when he grabbed both of my hands and again said, “Ok, Mon. In ALL seriousness. I’m just not going to give you what you really wanted. And I know what you wanted. You wanted me to propose to you on Christmas night because it’s all cute.” After me saying, “are you being serious right now?” about fifty times, and me still laughing, he whispered into my ear that he wanted to be with me forever. Then he just kept talking gibberish knowing full well that I would say after the forever comment, “WAIT. Wait…what did you say? Did you just say you wanted to be with me forever?” Well, of course I said exactly that.

Right after I did, I hear a big, “OUCH! Agh! Ouch!” He bent down to check out the problem. “There are ants in my boot!” (Legit though…there are crazy stinging ants in Florida. Hurts for weeks.) But he wasn’t taking his foot out of his boot! I was still laughing uncontrollably and as I threw my head back, he took my hand and slowly put one knee on the pavement. He said some cute stuff like he wanted me to be his wife, and again that he wanted to be with me forever…and I STILL didn’t believe him! He took the other hand to open another box, one that I hadn’t seen before.

Like I said, there was only one street lamp. Everything else was pitch black. When that box opened, I swear to you that box was glowing. It was only out of the corner of my eye, because again, I did not want that to be a figment of my imagination. I stopped laughing, and so did he. The next thing I heard were the words I was hoping for. And so sweet out of his mouth was,

“Will you marry me?”

“Wait, baby, are you still kidding?” At this point, I could see the seriousness in his face, and I just lost it. I didn’t even dare look at the ring because I was scared it was going to disappear and this moment would go away. I kept looking straight into his eyes, said yes, and just cried. (Oh yeah, and we kissed a lot. Of course.) It was longer than usual before he asked me if I wanted to even see the ring! I looked at it and definitely gasped…I couldn’t have designed it better myself. I still didn’t believe it was mine, so I asked through my tears, “Is this for me??” He laughed at me while I asked him if he would put it on my finger. I was still in shock walking back to the house to tell everyone…and slapping his arm on the way back because he tricked me so bad! I’m so glad he proposed the way he did because I wanted it to be just me and him, and the fact that it was so simple just down the street was that much more romantic. This is a perfect example of something I really like about our relationship; we are able to be best friends playing around one second and then immediately pull out the romance card.

Kasey also knows how much I like pictures, so he pulled out his phone and took one right after we were made official. 10:50 p.m., Christmas night.

After we went back to tell the family and of course the whole Facebook/Instagram thing, we just sat on the couch staring at the ring, yes, but mostly each other. I can’t believe I’m engaged to such a hard working, family wanting, God loving man that will always live up to his priesthood duties. I’ve always wanted to know what my husband will look like, and now all I have to do is look at my screensaver to see who that is!

Well, as Kasey could tell you, he is all I asked for. And I got exactly what I want. Forever.

-The future Mrs. Hess

Starting it off right.

We did it! Opening weekend is out of the way! But I do kinda feel like a traveling circus. Anyway, I honestly didn't think we'd make it two weeks ago...but, miracles happen, and the shows were FANTASTIC! Oh, I had so much fun. Really, they were such good shows. I'm so proud of our team.

This was on the way there--there's no way Megan and I had that much energy on the bus ride home. 

Megs and JBrom so happy we finally get to perform instead of rehearse!

Funniest game ever: noise cancelling headphones with blasting music...someone asks them a question and they respond based on what they think the question was. 10x more hilarious with MDT majors. (Music Dance Theatre)

When we got off the bus, we (literally) ran into the High School to do a workshop with the kids, then (literally) ran to mic check and get ready for the show!

Yeah...it definitely doesn't look like this at the end of the show. This picture shows the costumes for about five performers. We have twenty. So you can imagine when we run off stage, as we are catapulting costumes off our bodies, someone else is throwing on more costumes as we run on stage to look like that didn't happen. Then we're supposed to dance and sing like we aren't out of breath or something. Ha.

The only break I get during the show is during the guys' number...eight straight minutes of The Beatles! Just enough time to cool down before going back on stage for the rest of the show.

Me, Randy, Megs and Eliza stayed at the beautiful (very beautiful) home of King and Diane Hussein and had the opportunity to give a singing devotional for the Sunday School portion of church the next day!

All Young Ambassadors aside, this was my favorite picture from the week. Definitely. So jealous they were all hanging out without me in sunny Florida while I was freezing at a cool -9 degrees!

(I never thought I'd be that girl, but whatever, I don't even care anymore. HOLY COW MY BOYFRIEND IS A BABE! Oh wow. Sheesh. Whoo.)

Anyway, back to YA's. No more shows until after Christmas. But then it will really pick up! 10-day tour to Northern California, and then shows almost every weekend until we leave to Nauvoo! 

I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN. Pinch me.

Cradle of the Restoration.

Return of the Jedi. Stepping into your old mission field after having the name tag off for quite some time feels like you're getting some sort of special powers back. The weirdest thing though was driving across the border from Pennsylvania to New York on my six month anniversary of being an official RM...and realizing I wasn't a missionary. It felt like I was driving into the city on The Truman Show with outside knowledge now! This time, I wasn't Sister Hawkes anymore. (Well...to most people.) I was Monica--the version who I wanted to be at this time. In fact, I think I'm even better than I ever hoped I would be. 

Bringing friends to a place I am (let's be honest) obsessed with is something I will put into continual practice. We stayed with the Jacobson's that first and foremost made our trip just plain fun. Inside jokes aren't just for teenagers. But then, we all got into the spiritual part of the weekend, which resulted in me learning more than I ever thought I would. That's how I know I'm choosing my friends correctly...my absolute favorite thing to do is sit in on a discussion on our Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Plan for me. That's all we did all weekend. It was amazing.

Anyway, we started off Friday morning at the Book of Mormon Publication Site and got an absolutely incredible tour from Sister Noble. Since I didn't mention to anyone I was coming, it was the reunion of a lifetime for the both of us. She gave us a fantastic tour to start off our weekend, and set the tone for the rest of our trip! 

And walked around the town...

And saw the highlight of the trip...the Joseph Smith Farm and Sacred Grove. Sister Jeanfreau taught me so much being there again, now having the experiences of post-mission life and relating them to what I taught as a missionary. My mind continually tends to be blown on what's in store for me if I continue on this path.

Saturday, we headed over to the Hill Cumorah. We read Mormon chapter six and the appropriate verses in JS History to really internalize what we were seeing. It was the boys' first time ever to this place, so we had to!

The lovely Sister Allred took us to her home in Mendon, where the prophet Brigham Young lived and got baptized. I had never been there before!

On the way home, we drove through Gettysburg...why not stop and take a look? We got a little American history in there with us!

And the last but not least to our final stop...the Washington, D.C. temple. 

Those special powers really work when you give your all for 18-24 months. Monica 2.0 is a lot stronger.

Is this real life?

...is what I am thinking in my brain every time I walk to and from Union Station to Capitol Hill.

And then when I get to have two little girls today holding each of my hands when we walk through the crowded touristy spots of the Capitol...

...I get to call this work?

How Great Shall Be Your Joy.

When I got this text message yesterday, my mind immediately flew to this scripture:

"And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!" -D&C 18:15

Even though Satan tries his best to make my mission seem like a failure, the Spirit is working overtime to remind me of so much success that I got to be a part of. It's the stuff that I actually want to listen to that I pay attention to. I'm 100% positive that someone has wanted to send a message like this to all of you--even if they hadn't had the courage to press the send button. 

You're making a difference.

Lucky.

I wonder. I really really wonder sometimes.


How did I get so lucky to have the best parents in the world? Yes, this is a shout-out to you, mom and dad...you can thank me later when you blog-stalk me when I'm in the MTC. I'll brag about them for a bit. My dad is always right (well, most of the time) and my mom is super smart. My dad is respected by everyone he meets, and my mom can get anyone to listen to her, believe her, and follow her. Every time I get to be the tag-a-long, I beam with pride.

How did I get so lucky to land this job and work with the greatest people ever? Yes, I did just work 20 hours since yesterday morning, but I wasn't bored one second. I l.i.t.e.r.a.l.l.y. have the best [student] job in the world.

How did I get so lucky to live with my cousins in college? Living with people you're best friends with and comfortable with is HUGE in having a great college experience. I'm going to miss it. But we've already got the lady RM club set up when I get back!

How did I get so lucky to have the opportunity to serve a mission? I didn't think I'd have the time or ability...but it has presented itself perfectly. I also have to throw in how beyond ecstatic/excited/joyful/beaming/overjoyed/tickled pink I am to serve in Upstate New York. All I cared about was that my will was the Lord's on the location of my call, and that I would get to talk to as many people as possible with the time I have been given. Hill Cumorah pageant anyone? 4,000+ people a day?! And I get to serve at two of them? I just cry every time I think about the magnitude of this. I'll control myself.

I'm obviously paying attention in class.

How did I get so lucky to have the best siblings in the world? All gorgeous, smart, and funny. And Jake will be taller than me when I get back! Poor girl that has to marry him...she's going to have a hard time getting through his big sisters. Even though we used to hate each other, we're all best friends. Except when dad comes and thinks he's the state champion in wrestling again. Then it gets ugly.

How did I get so lucky to be born a member of the Church? Who knows what would have happened if I would have been taught by the missionaries. Or never had the chance in my life at all? I sure hope I would have grasped on. Well, I don't have to dwell on it, because I am a member, and I'm so happy.

How did I get so lucky to have the Lord trust me so much? ...sometimes I feel like He trusts me a little bit too much. Like I said. 4,000+ people a day? Well, if He called me there, He thinks I can do it. And I know we can do it. It's a team effort--me and Him.


See, I told you all my posts would be churchy from now on.