List of Thankfulness.

As with tradition, and I know it's very cliche, but I love that people make lists of what they're thankful for during the beginning of the Holiday season. It just makes it that much better for the rest of the last of the year. 

Here goes...and yes in particular order this time:

1. A Heavenly Father that loves me. Everyone's got this one. But the trick here is that most people don't know it. I wish most people realized this, because my broadcast journalism major probably wouldn't be in existence if people did.

2. A family that loves me. Now this one is a little different...not everyone has this. I continue to realize this every day. I am so happy that my whole family is healthy (well, somewhat) and happy (yes, very much so) and we all still get along. Dad didn't think that was going to happen about 15 years ago...proved him wrong!

3. Friends who love me. Well, namely in particular one friend that's a boy that some people call "boyfriends," but I don't even think that name does him justice. Kasey is the perfect mix of a hunk, a protector, a best friend, a solid rock that's never going anywhere...you get the idea. Everything but a girlfriend, that's for sure...

4. A mission. I get caught up in saying, "my mission," but it was never mine. It was His--the One who really taught me how to love. My heart always is in New York and it takes only about half a second for someone to say something that triggers a memory, therefore making me more grateful for the hardest thing I've ever done.


If you didn't realize this--all of these have to do with love. I seriously need to live off love. Well, I better end this post because I need to go braid some bacon.

Cradle of the Restoration.

Return of the Jedi. Stepping into your old mission field after having the name tag off for quite some time feels like you're getting some sort of special powers back. The weirdest thing though was driving across the border from Pennsylvania to New York on my six month anniversary of being an official RM...and realizing I wasn't a missionary. It felt like I was driving into the city on The Truman Show with outside knowledge now! This time, I wasn't Sister Hawkes anymore. (Well...to most people.) I was Monica--the version who I wanted to be at this time. In fact, I think I'm even better than I ever hoped I would be. 

Bringing friends to a place I am (let's be honest) obsessed with is something I will put into continual practice. We stayed with the Jacobson's that first and foremost made our trip just plain fun. Inside jokes aren't just for teenagers. But then, we all got into the spiritual part of the weekend, which resulted in me learning more than I ever thought I would. That's how I know I'm choosing my friends correctly...my absolute favorite thing to do is sit in on a discussion on our Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Plan for me. That's all we did all weekend. It was amazing.

Anyway, we started off Friday morning at the Book of Mormon Publication Site and got an absolutely incredible tour from Sister Noble. Since I didn't mention to anyone I was coming, it was the reunion of a lifetime for the both of us. She gave us a fantastic tour to start off our weekend, and set the tone for the rest of our trip! 

And walked around the town...

And saw the highlight of the trip...the Joseph Smith Farm and Sacred Grove. Sister Jeanfreau taught me so much being there again, now having the experiences of post-mission life and relating them to what I taught as a missionary. My mind continually tends to be blown on what's in store for me if I continue on this path.

Saturday, we headed over to the Hill Cumorah. We read Mormon chapter six and the appropriate verses in JS History to really internalize what we were seeing. It was the boys' first time ever to this place, so we had to!

The lovely Sister Allred took us to her home in Mendon, where the prophet Brigham Young lived and got baptized. I had never been there before!

On the way home, we drove through Gettysburg...why not stop and take a look? We got a little American history in there with us!

And the last but not least to our final stop...the Washington, D.C. temple. 

Those special powers really work when you give your all for 18-24 months. Monica 2.0 is a lot stronger.

That one big city up north.

The adventure begun Saturday morning. We all packed up all of Linda's stuff in this beautiful U-Haul and drove (on an extremely rainy day I might add) all the four hours up to New York City. It's a good thing there was no traffic. (Joke.)

After unloading and moving and dropping off things and everything else in between we had a great time with a bunch of people from the Harlem ward, just hanging out and playing games all night. My cheeks were killing me by the time we left...I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time! Anyway, the next morning, bright and early, I met my mom who happened to be coming to the city this week too...so we got to spend all of Monday and Tuesday together. We did what we do best...exploring with no plans at all!

Everywhere we went, people sarcastically asked if we were related. I'm beginning to see that more and more as I grow up! But it's great being here on the east coast...I get to hang out with my mom more than I did living in Provo. Hopefully when I go back to Mount Zion we can still make it happen just as much. 

As for being in New York City, it really is the, "if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere," kinda feel. Expensive. Fast. Huge. Exciting. Nothing like it anywhere else. I'm being talked into applying for NYU's sports management program. I think I'd be okay with that! But on top of everything, it was AMAZING to be back in one of my favorite states. New York will forever have my heart; there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about it.

Well, I'm headed back to D.C. on the train right now. Good thing Mom has meetings there the rest of the week, and next week! I just hope those cherry blossoms will be blooming...happy first day of April!

Eyewitness.

When Emma Smith felt the engravings on the plates of the ancient writings of the Book of Mormon through a thin cloth, she received a witness. When Lucy Mack Smith examined the Urim and Thummim through the same transparent thin cloth, she received the same witness. But when Mary Whitmer was shown the actual gold plates by Moroni himself, that's when she put all of her faith aside and had pure knowledge of The Work.

I put myself on this list this week.

On Monday, a few of us had the opportunity to walk over to the Library of Congress on our lunch break and see the original copy of the Book of Mormon. I knew it would be cool, but I didn't know how much of an impact it would have on me. As we walked into the "Rare Book Reading Room," it was a much smaller room than I thought. The two big double doors also made me want to make my own sort of entrance, but I refrained.

We had to fill out some paperwork and show our Staff ID's in order to even talk to the guys. After asking for the Book, the man asked if we were Mormon. He then brought out a couple more books he thought we'd be interested. OH YEAH.

The librarian set them down in front of us: the copy of the (March 26, 1830, E.B. Grandin, Palmyra, one-i've-been-talking-about-the-last-18-months) Book of Mormon, an original copy of the Book of Commandments, and the Book of Mormon translated in the language of Deseret.

Printed at E.B. Grandin's Bookstore in Palmyra, NY

Inside of the Book of Mormon

Moroni's Promise (Moroni 10:4-5)

The Book of Commandments. This happens to be a portion of what is now
Doctrine and Covenants 6...the chapter that led me through my mission.

Book of Mormon in the language of Deseret.
(I'm really glad I don't have to speak this language.)

I freaked out way more than I thought I would. They didn't even have us wear cloth gloves, because turns out, it would ruin the book more over time. I went through the whole process of how the book was made in my head, and everything matched up. Everything that I've ever learned about the Book of Mormon...matched up with this copy.

But what came right down to it, surprisingly, was just seeing the signature of Martin Harris on the very last page. Thinking about the things that he went through, even through his own wife and the destruction of his crops, to testify of how true this Book is.

The cool thing about this signature, and probably not what a lot of people would ever pick up on, was that on the two pages behind it, there were marks where the signature bled through. That's when I thought, "this is real." Like I said, everything matched up, all of the facts that I've ever learned and read about...they're all true. I knew I had received something way more than any other member of the Church gets to see.

And just one more cool thing:

I may have had Joseph's DNA on me. WOW.

Top Ten Moments of 2013.

It's mostly from the mission. Okay, it's all from the mission. It's totally outweighed everything else I've done this year. Obviously.

January. Stephanie got baptized. She was the first one I taught from start to finish. That girl's testimony is the size of the Pacific Ocean. Speaking of which, she put faith into perspective for me by teaching me that, "Faith is a small dot in the middle of a big ocean. That's all you need" Smart girl.

March. Sister Johnson and I made a cake for President in hopes of bribing him to keep us together in Brockport one more transfer. It was more like bribing the Spirit, which usually doesn't work, but this time it did!

March 14. Easily the best birthday present...we went to the Sacred Grove and Smith Farm for district meeting. There is something about discussing Joseph right where he grew up. It never got old.

  

May. After a long, exhausting day, I came home to Sister Beardsley in my bed. Our roommates got more of the effect they wanted when I turned the lights on myself! It completely lightened my mood and let me know that missionary work is actually supposed to be fun.

June. President Christianson's last Zone Conference. And...it was in the Grove. 

July. Hill Cumorah Pageant 2013. I got to spend a lot more time with the cast than usual...we were Cast Trainers who gave them missionary workshops, pointers, etc. The only three weeks on my mission I felt like a celebrity!

September. Meeting Britani. Teaching her. Seeing her be bapzited. Taking her through the sites. She is the epitome of having having the gospel "written in her heart." Britani just gets it, and I'm so lucky to be one of the two that got to teach her.

October. My exit interview. Probably (definitely) the best experience I've ever had in the Grove. It was the perfect way to end an 18 month journey in the Cradle of the Restoration.  Even though I've had many experiences in this place, this one sealed my testimony of what happened to Joseph with his Older Brother and Father.

October (the next day.) The best surprise of my life. Ten minutes before I boarded this plane, I wrote in my journal, "I don't think I've ever felt more alone." There obviously were a lot of tears at the scene. I don't think I stopped talking the whole flight...my mom is a trooper.

2013 was the best year of my life. But guess what?

Where it all began.

A mission can be one of the greatest things in your life. It is the only thing in your life that no one but God can decide. He knows exactly who needs you in the amount of time you've been given. We put our entire trust in Him to send us exactly where we need to be.

When praying about my mission call, where I would go, who I would serve, I had a request that I could serve near a temple of God (and that I could teach the most people in the shortest amount of time). It was a small request, I thought. I already knew I would go wherever the Lord wanted me to go, and be happy about it, but little did I know that a prophet of the Church would go on to say this about the temple that He has placed me next to for the last 18 months:

"I regard this temple as perhaps the most significant, in one respect, in the entire Church," President Hinckley said. "It was right here in the Sacred Grove where it all began."

When I got my call to serve in the New York Rochester Mission, I felt something soft come over me, almost like Heavenly Father himself was wrapping his arms around me. I could almost hear Him telling me, "Here is the place where you will flourish in preaching my gospel. This is where you will bring the light of the gospel to others for the rest of their lives. Here is where you will build my Church." I put my hand over my mouth in disbelief that I had an actual call come straight from God, and not only just a call, but this call. Tears didn't stop flowing as I kept reading the letter from The First Presidency. I realized I was doing exactly the opposite of what my ancestors did--I hitched up my wagon back to the place where it all began. I was going to return to the place they deliberately left. 

So why in the world would I do that? Why only could it be one of the greatest things of my life? Well, it was all about my attitude. It could have been the most horrific experience of my life, as it obviously was for Joseph Smith and my ancestors that followed him from New York all the way to Nauvoo. So why even try to serve a mission in the first place? I'm getting yelled at while freezing, then the next moment I think I'm going into a heat coma, I haven't heard my own mother's voice in over seven months, and we saw one of our best investigators hiding when we came to the door (for the fifth time.) So, with that being said...

I am overwhelmed with the love I have for the people in New York. My heart explodes, and I kinda even start shaking on the inside when I talk about it. I could have totally been miserable for those approximately 545 days I spent on the battlefield. But, couldn't have hand-picked a better place to serve Him. 

Not in a million years.

Stronger than gravity.

"The feeling of love from our Heavenly Father is like a gravitational pull from heaven. As we remove the distractions that pull us toward the world and exercise our agency to seek Him, we open our hearts to a celestial force which draws us to Him." -Elder Paul E. Koelliker

Our favorite study place--on top of the Hill Cumorah

Let's be honest, I'll weave my mission throughout my entire life. It absolutely will bleed through to this blog! I can't not talk about the single greatest thing that has influenced my conversion to Jesus Christ. Today, while sitting in church, I felt such a strong sense of accomplishment for what I just completed, and a duty to continue my labors for the Lord. My training wheels are off--and I'm still running! 

Sister Correia...the best trainer in the NYRM.

And the single greatest thing that happened today (besides giving a second homecoming talk) was seeing the Elders in my home ward, practically tackling them with questions. What I would give to let them know how grateful I was that they are still out. What an incredible army we've got, with an even more of an incredible Boss. When I come to Him, He gives me that gravitational pull of identity, purpose, and divine design that any human soul longs for on a daily basis.

I wish I could comprehend 1/1,000,000th of how much He loves you and me.

I'm an RM?!

The honeymoon phase is over.

But it was great while it lasted--from Wednesday through Sunday. Anyway, I would eat at the opportunity to tell every experience I had on my mission in this post, but unfortunately, we don't have ten years to spare. If you're that interested, my mission blog has every weekly e-mail (plus more) at:

sistermonicahawkes.wordpress.com

I will refrain from putting my favorite mission pictures up, because I know I will probably be posting many of them in the future. New York is one of my "holy places," as Ann M. Dibb calls it, and that will require me to think of my mission every single day. Okay, maybe I'll just show you this one from last Tuesday.

President Francis and I had my exit interview in the Sacred Grove.
That's what I get for being the only missionary going home!

And then from my homecoming:

Jonesey. Alison. No words to describe our love.

NYRMies! 

My little Allie.

"If you're not a full-time missionary with a badge pinned on your coat, now is the time to paint one on your heart...returned missionaries, find your old missionary tag. Don't wear it, but put it where you can see it. The Lord needs you now more than ever to be an instrument in His hands." -Elder Neil L. Andersen

New York state of mind.

Sometimes I think to myself...Holy cow! I'm going on a mission! When did I get that old? It's nuts to think that I am at the age to not only be a missionary, but to be a sister missionary. (Not that we're old...I just still feel like I'm in high school.) It's awesome to "forget" when I get caught up in work and school, and have it hit me that I actually have a mission call and I'm leaving in a few short weeks. Forget finals week...that's already out the window. 


I've googled even MORE stuff about Western New York...so much that it's probably already a top-hit. I'm so in love with it, and I know when I come home I'll always have a desire to be there. But I don't even want to talk about coming home. Because that is sad. And I know I'll never want to come home. My secret plan (that now obviously isn't so secret) is to take my husband back there, show him around the Church History sites, visit members that I taught, and watch the Hill Cumorah pageant! 


Sometimes I get worried about being away for that long and keeping the personality needed of a Sister Missionary. I'm even scared that the MTC will feel like a jail...a very happy jail that is! But there are over a thousand missionaries in a tiny little campus, not allowed to leave, sitting in brick classrooms all day. We'll see how it goes. People have told me the MTC is one of the greatest experiences. I am really excited to get spiritually fed...buffet style.


In reading other Sisters' blogs that are currently in my mission, I'm amazed at their spirituality. They know so much. I only hope to get to that point through lots and lots of study and prayer. Every single one of them has an amazing personality that draws other people in. And since I can already tell from just their writing...I have a lot to live up to. But I'm ready to take the challenge. One Sister mentioned that she quickly realized she has the physical ability to do anything that the Lord needed her to do--because she is in His hands. If He asks, He'll make a way. I even got an e-mail from her today! 


Sister Hawkes,
You just got called to the BEST mission in the world! You're going to love it here! ...As far as advice goes, I think the only thing I wish I would have known before I got here, is that the sisters dress so NORMAL! (phew.) Everyone dresses just like any girl would dress to church. Other than that...I feel like I could tell you a million things. But you'd probably be better off learning them as you go...you can ask us anything you need. We can't wait to meet you!
Sister Barrus :)


What helps a lot is knowing I have a ton of friends that have been on missions and friends that are going on missions. The boys that are home have helped so much in letting me know what to expect and letting me bug them about mission stories. And the girls...we are just all getting our calls now! It's so comforting knowing I have friends that literally dot the earth...and that we're all excited about it. 

Best friends called to The Philippines and New York.
We'll be exactly 12 hours apart, which means between just the
two of us, we'll be serving the Lord 24/7 for our whole missions. 

I'm afraid from now on, this blog will be filled with mission stuff. But, it is all I think about. So whoever reads this, sorry...you'll get sick of me fast. Today is even the 182nd anniversary of the organization of the Church that took place right in my mission...Fayette, NY! 


As for the events of the week, it's been pretty crazy. Lots of work, lots of school, and Reb's 21st birthday! We surprised her after her Noteworthy concert and took her to her apartment where 30+ people squished in there somehow. It was a success. 


Also...THREE MORE DAYS OF CLASS!