We do not doubt.

Who knows if I've posted this before...I don't think it really matters. It's just like reading the scriptures, different things jump out at you at different points in your life, and I guess that's just what happened to me today. 

In the last part of Alma 56, Helaman is talking to his brother, Moroni. Now, to put it in context just a bit, there are a million things that Helaman could have said. There was a huge war going on against the Lamanites, and if I were him, I'd probably tell him my war strategies, maybe something funny that happened...I don't know! But look at what he immediately tells him:

"And now I say unto you, my beloved brother Moroni, that never had I seen so great courage, may, not amongst all the Nephites." (v. 45)

He is referring to these two thousand little boys that are in his army. Okay, the only people that make up his army. He calls them "young" men throughout the chapter, and I really start to think of what he means by "young." Remember back then how it was normal for girls to have babies at age 14? And how you became a real person at age 12? I might be exaggerating, but probably not by much. Helaman keeps on commenting how extremely young these men are, and I figure that he would lightly dust over the topic if they were of a mature enough age. Apparently they weren't. Here's just one example:

"For as I had ever called them my sons (for they were all of them very young)... 

And check this out, this is what they were thinking while in the middle of the war...no wonder God told us to be like little children:

"...even so they said unto me: Father, behold our God is with us, and he will not suffer that we should fall; then let us go forth..." (v. 46)

Wow. All of them said that? Well, look at what else Helaman has to say about them. And another thing to remember...he really wants us to know this because he is not just typing this all out on a Word document, he is etching into brass/copper/gold with a hammer all of these letters one by one. You think they're important? Yeah. Anyway, check this out:

"Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death..." Whaatttt?! "...and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea..." and this is my favorite part, "they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them. And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it."

The moral of the story is not that we should travel back in time and be like the two-thousand stripling warriors, it is that we still have time left to be those mothers and fathers they are talking about. Obviously, I think about this subject a lot! I am so excited to have my own family. I want to teach them principles like these from the Book of Mormon and the Bible. I want to give them life experiences that will help them grow farther than they ever thought possible, just like these very young strippling warriors. I know it will be challenging, and I'll won't be able to take one day off.

But from what I hear, it's worth it.

New Year.

I'm seven days too late for this post, but who keeps track of that anyway? 

This will most likely be the most new year I will ever experience. I will get a new home, gain a new family, write a new last name...I would say get a new husband, but you get the point. Only 160 days left until I get to write a "Mrs.," in front of my name, and absolutely I have NOT practiced that if you're wondering! Please detect the sarcasm.

Anyway, I will experience change much more than I have in the past. Sure, the past three years I've moved seven times, but I'm sure nothing compares to marriage. It will be such an exciting year, as it has been already this past week! I also am graduating from BYU, which back in 2009, I thought would take an entire lifetime. I'll never have a "first day of school" again, that is until I mercilessly take pictures of my children on their first day of school! 

I've been pondering a lot on what I can do in 2015 to set the stage for an ideal home to raise our children in. I keep coming back to the family Proclamation, and realizing over and over again that each key ingredient to a God-centered home is written out plain and simple in that thing. One phrase that has been highlighted in my mind lately is:

"Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ." -The Family: A Proclamation To The World


What gets me every time is the word, entitled. That's right. Each child born, no matter what circumstance, has a right to be born to a mother and a father who love each other. There are things only a mother can do, and there are things only a father can do. It is absolutely essential for children to be raised in a home where the father has the Priesthood, and the mother is always present in that child's life. Obviously, not very many of the children in this world get that. I'm willing to bet it's less than a 2%. But that doesn't mean that 100% of our children can't have that. 

2015 will be a year of lots of fun and lots of learning. I'm so ready to start!

Surreal.

I still wake up every morning wondering what this shiny thing is on my left hand.

But then I look at it, and I get reminded that I get to marry such a handsome boy! I've been gathering pictures to do what I will with them at the wedding, and I've gotten an overload of fantastic pictures that I just have to share.

From what I hear, this was a daily (hourly) occurrence.

I really needed a haircut.

GQ anyone? My heart.

Don't mind the 90's non-digital camera problems.

And he thinks I have granny panties!

Okay, sorry. I just needed to show him off for a second. I'm really in love! And I don't care who knows it!

The Proposal.

18,046 miles traveled. 

Two road trips across six states and 16 boarding passes later, 

I somehow snagged myself a fiancé!

I’ve never been engaged before (thankfully) so I didn’t really know how this all worked. Every girl imagines it in her head, but somehow you still just have no idea what to think or where to start. I’ve had my phone blow up with people asking for details, so I decided just to write it up and put it on here! Plus I forgot my journal (LAME) so this counts for that.

The story starts Christmas day. We had such a wonderful morning, with me and Jordan going to wake up Kasey like little kids on, well...Christmas morning...and then we all surrounded the tree to open presents and be together in our PJs. 

Christmas morning at the Hess Home

Well, the usual Christmas happened, and it was so peaceful. But the story you really want to hear starts Christmas night. Kasey’s brother and sister-in-law had just left and I went into the kitchen to get something to eat. He followed me into the kitchen, wrapped himself up in me, and started heckling the heck out of me about my feelings of possibly being an engaged woman. Since heckling is his best talent, I really didn’t think anything of it…for the first half hour at least. He said stuff like, “Mon, I bet you really wish I would propose to you on Christmas. I’m sorry, there’s only an hour and a half left, so just don’t think anything okay? You wouldn’t want to marry me anyway.” Of course there was (play) slapping and hitting and me trying to drop the subject…but he kept saying, “MONICA what do you want for Christmas?” I kept on saying, “Kasey how many times do I have to say this. You are all I want!” And since I already was dating him, I was content and everything was great. I knew it wasn’t going to happen because it was just way too obvious.

The half hour went by and by this time I was thinking that he wouldn’t be doing this for just anything. After laughing and heckling, it did cross my mind a time or two that tonight might be the night, but then he grabbed my shoulders and said, “In all seriousness, I’m just tight on money. Can’t do it right now. I’m sorry, babe.” I smiled, kissed him, said that was okay, and went back to eating whatever I was eating, fully knowing that in order for him to succeed I had to be at least a little bit ticked. So, of course he wasn’t happy with my content answer, so of course…more heckling. “Mon, don’t you want to go for a walk? I don’t have anything, but don’t you just want to go? Just me and you?” I said, no, it’s okay…but he kept asking and so I just let him succeed. He mostly loved that he had to make me ask if we were going anywhere. He pulled out this white box, shook it, and said, “let’s go for a walk.” Of course I went.

We started on this walk around the neighborhood with this white box obviously in the front pocket of his sweatshirt. Kasey did not let me even anywhere near it, so I just decided to let it go and just enjoy the walk. About every five steps he kissed me, and kept squeezing my hand. Not that normal, but okay! (The only reason I didn’t catch on to this obvious hint is because this guy is smarter than smart, and he knows exactly what I would read into and what I wouldn’t. I honestly didn’t think anything was going to happen…I thought he was just going to trick me by going for a walk with this box in his pocket and not mention it once the whole time.) We kept walking around and as we got to a little open spot with just one street lamp he stopped and grabbed both hands. He looked at me and told me seriously that he knew what I was thinking, and he felt bad it just wasn’t going to be at this time. Money really was tight (he just bought new “socks and shoes” for his truck) and he probably would propose over my birthday when he could afford a ring that I wanted. Kasey did tell me he wanted to get me something, that it wasn’t much and not very big, but it was an expression of his love. He slowly pulled out the white box from his front pocket, put it in my hands, and asked me to open it. Remember, there was just one street lamp and so I couldn’t really see anything anyway. I opened it while looking at him skeptically and out of the corner my eye saw something really shiny. I opened it quicker and inside revealed…

A Hershey kiss.

Monica: “KASEY I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

Kasey: “WHAT, IT’S A KISS! Don’t you love me?! You can have a real one if you want!!”

I was laughing so hard. He played dumb, asked why I was laughing and said, “What, you weren’t expecting anything else were you?” He looked so confused that I was laughing and was “offended” that I didn’t want that piece of chocolate. We walked a few more steps when he grabbed both of my hands and again said, “Ok, Mon. In ALL seriousness. I’m just not going to give you what you really wanted. And I know what you wanted. You wanted me to propose to you on Christmas night because it’s all cute.” After me saying, “are you being serious right now?” about fifty times, and me still laughing, he whispered into my ear that he wanted to be with me forever. Then he just kept talking gibberish knowing full well that I would say after the forever comment, “WAIT. Wait…what did you say? Did you just say you wanted to be with me forever?” Well, of course I said exactly that.

Right after I did, I hear a big, “OUCH! Agh! Ouch!” He bent down to check out the problem. “There are ants in my boot!” (Legit though…there are crazy stinging ants in Florida. Hurts for weeks.) But he wasn’t taking his foot out of his boot! I was still laughing uncontrollably and as I threw my head back, he took my hand and slowly put one knee on the pavement. He said some cute stuff like he wanted me to be his wife, and again that he wanted to be with me forever…and I STILL didn’t believe him! He took the other hand to open another box, one that I hadn’t seen before.

Like I said, there was only one street lamp. Everything else was pitch black. When that box opened, I swear to you that box was glowing. It was only out of the corner of my eye, because again, I did not want that to be a figment of my imagination. I stopped laughing, and so did he. The next thing I heard were the words I was hoping for. And so sweet out of his mouth was,

“Will you marry me?”

“Wait, baby, are you still kidding?” At this point, I could see the seriousness in his face, and I just lost it. I didn’t even dare look at the ring because I was scared it was going to disappear and this moment would go away. I kept looking straight into his eyes, said yes, and just cried. (Oh yeah, and we kissed a lot. Of course.) It was longer than usual before he asked me if I wanted to even see the ring! I looked at it and definitely gasped…I couldn’t have designed it better myself. I still didn’t believe it was mine, so I asked through my tears, “Is this for me??” He laughed at me while I asked him if he would put it on my finger. I was still in shock walking back to the house to tell everyone…and slapping his arm on the way back because he tricked me so bad! I’m so glad he proposed the way he did because I wanted it to be just me and him, and the fact that it was so simple just down the street was that much more romantic. This is a perfect example of something I really like about our relationship; we are able to be best friends playing around one second and then immediately pull out the romance card.

Kasey also knows how much I like pictures, so he pulled out his phone and took one right after we were made official. 10:50 p.m., Christmas night.

After we went back to tell the family and of course the whole Facebook/Instagram thing, we just sat on the couch staring at the ring, yes, but mostly each other. I can’t believe I’m engaged to such a hard working, family wanting, God loving man that will always live up to his priesthood duties. I’ve always wanted to know what my husband will look like, and now all I have to do is look at my screensaver to see who that is!

Well, as Kasey could tell you, he is all I asked for. And I got exactly what I want. Forever.

-The future Mrs. Hess