God bless the broken road.

via: imforevergrateful.tumbler

Have you ever had those moments (or longer than moments) when you thought a ship was sailed? Or when you feel stupid that you asked for certain things that you thought were the best? Well, since God is...a god...He kinda has some idea on how He could make things better. All He needs to do that is your patience, your patience, and...you guessed it, your patience. 

I want to point out two scriptures that illustrate my point perfectly:

25 But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.
26 Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. (Romans 8:25-26)

14 Verily, verily, I say unto thee, blessed art thou for what thou hast done; for thou hast inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou hast received instruction of my Spirit. If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time. (D&C 6:14)

I just can never comprehend the massiveness of possibilities The Lord has in store for us. And no, I am not talking about earthly achievements. I'm talking about pure happiness...and the state of mind that comes with that. A lot of people think my happiness as being Monica comes from serving in the best mission in the world (true), working in Washington, D.C., being in Young Ambassadors, or whatever. All this stuff I've been doing lately sets me up for failure, stress, and looking totally stupid. Let's be honest, it does already. I have no idea what I'm doing! Although it is all labeled, "fun," I had to work WAY harder than I ever thought I needed to in the first place...and that's where this happiness I have comes from. It's from failing, millions of times, and then something finally sticking. It's going after everything I possibly could, and getting only about 5% of what I work for. But that small amount from the other 95% I thought was better, is what was "the best" for me. I took an insane amount of detours, but how does that song go? God bless the broken road.

Just because it isn't happening RIGHT NOW, doesn't mean it will never happen. Believe me, He is running marathons for you up there. Take some time to believe it.

Good things to come.

"But Christ being come an high priest of good things to come, by a greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands..." -Hebrews 9:11

I had a really great personal study this morning. Out of all the wording that Paul could have been inspired with, He described Christ as being this Prince that could always swear by the promises He has made (which are tailored to us that we can learn by regular temple attendance.) Paul goes onto describe that hope is an "anchor to the soul." Just think for a moment what an anchor does, and the relationship it has to the boat and water, etc. 

via: vineetkaur.tumblr.com

Then, a chapter later (in my opinion) is one of the greatest written passages of all-time:

"It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions;

Partly, whilst ye were made a gazingstock both by reproaches and afflictions; and partly, whilst ye became companions of them that were so used.

For ye had compassion of me in my bonds, and took joyfully the spoiling of your goods, knowing in yourselves that ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance.

Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.

For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

For yet a little while, and he that shall come will come, and will not tarry.

Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him.

But we are not of them who draw back unto perdition; but of them that believe to the saving of the soul."

-Hebrews 10:31-39

There are good things to come in the next five minutes, there are good things to come within the next week, and there are even good things to come in 2014. You'll never go back to 2013, so there is no point in worrying about something that will never happen again. Hope is completely embracing the promises that He has handed to us; it's wrapping your entire body around the iron rod and holding onto it for dear life. 

There are good things to come. And the best part? He always keeps it a surprise.

Why I'm leaving for a year and a half.

"2 The light and the life of the world, a light which shineth in darkness and the darkness comprehendeth it not; 3 Who so loved the world that he gave his own life, that as many as would believe might become the sons of God. Wherefore you are my son; 4 And blessed are you because you have believed; 5 And more blessed are you because you are called of me to preach my gospel-- 6 To lift up your voice as with the sound of a trump, both long and loud, and cry repentance unto a crooked and perverse generation, preparing the way for the Lord for his second coming." -Doctrine and Covenants 34:2-6


When I came across this, I knew I had finally pinpointed a reason as to why I was actually going on a mission. I'm not going to delay school or dating, or to get out of Provo, or even just to take a break from life. This most definitely is not taking a break, and I'm learning it's going to be a bigger sacrifice than I thought. I've always had such a strong desire to serve and now have fully committed myself--with no backing out now. 


Which was why I really appreciated "Who so loved the world that he gave his own life." Christ came down and dedicated his entire earthly life to the Father. 18 months really isn't a big deal. However, I didn't really think of the self-sacrifice I actually had to make when I turned in my papers. I knew I'd be leaving for awhile, but I just figured there's been hundreds of thousands of missionaries that have done it, so I would obviously have no problem. HA.


It's funny how I've subconsiously grown a lot closer to people that I now realize I will miss. As of now, I'm convinced this is my biggest sacrifice. I absolutely hate saying goodbye...I could maybe never see these people again. But it's given me a lot of comfort repeating the quote by President Hinckley in my head that I literally have to tell myself daily:


"You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you will ever make."


I know the next year and a half will change my life. Not only will it change my life, but it will change the life of my the man I someday will marry, our future kids, and especially the people I teach. I couldn't imagine having an opportunity present itself like this--and not jumping at the chance. Because everything in life is worth the wait if it has anything to do with the Lord's work. When these next two weeks are up, and all my "fun" is out, I'm putting my personal life in a small, little box in the back of my head. Of course I'll get homesick, but plowing through is my only option, with my head being completely immersed in missionary work. 


Bring it on.

Live the questions.

While wondering and hoping on what I'm going to do this next year, I came across this quote:

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. 

Live the questions." -Rainer Maria Rilke

I guess the only thing I can do is keep every door wide open for opportunity. I'll eventually walk through the right ones. However, I'm well known to get way too excited about things way in advance. And I just want to do something about it right that second. So I'll remember that the mystery of what will happen--is sometimes the best part.